The Faena Hotel
The Faena Hotel in Miami Beach is bold, opulent and glamourous, but it failed to deliver the luxury vacation experience we expected.
Grade: 82/100
Service: 9/10
Location: 8.5/10
Rooms: 8.5/10
Amenities: 9/10
Aesthetic: 9.5/10
Vibe: 8.5/10
Food & Beverage: 7.5/10
Value: 6/10
When Eric, the exemplary bellhop at the Faena, took our bags and learned that we had stayed at the hotel before, he smiled and enthusiastically said, “welcome home.” I was born 5 minutes from the hotel and grew up in the neighborhood. Even though it has been two decades since I left Miami for college, grad school, and beyond, I have always considered Miami home. We’ve stayed at most of the top hotels in town, including the Faena. When I learned that Alinea, the Three-Michelin Starred restaurant in Chicago, was coming to the Faena, I immediately booked. However, my excitement was mixed with apprehension. Room rates have quadrupled since my last visit, and I couldn’t help but wonder if the Faena would live up to my memory of it.
First impressions matter and the Faena makes a great first impression. The golden-leaf colored ceiling, mosaic floors and enormous artwork in the lobby transport you into another world. It should come as no surprise that Baz Luhrmann, the director Moulin Rouge, was consulted in the creation of the hotel’s aesthetic. As we made our way into the check-in lounge, Eric handed us off to reception and the theme of a home coming continued. The woman who checked us in provided great service, and when we ran into her again later in the evening, she remembered our names and gave us a warm greeting. Great work by the staff! There was, unfortunately, a minor mistake at check-in when we were not offered the customary and advertised welcome drink.
Because we booked through the Fine Hotels and Resorts Amex Platinum portal, we were able to check into our room several hours early. No complimentary upgrade was available. We booked an Ocean View Junior Suite for just over $2,000/night. During our prior stay we booked the Premiere Oceanfront Room for $500. Prices have gone up. Given the choice, if you are going to stay at the Faena, book an “Oceanfront” room, junior suite or suite. With an inferior view and less privacy, Oceanview units are not worth the premium.
How was the room? Good but there were several issues that shouldn’t exist in a $2,000/night room. We were surprised there wasn’t a welcome amenity in the room. This is unheard of at this price point. Our Junior Suite felt large. Including the balcony, the room was 1,000 SQFT. We I love the Faena’s bold art deco room design. In a world filled with bland cookie cutter color palettes, the Faena’s use of red, green, nature prints, and marble stood out. Don’t get us wrong, we love understated luxury, but this room is fun and different. The bed was luxurious as was the inclusion of a Japanese toilet. Bath amenities were luxurious. However, there were a lot of issues in the bathroom. The lighting was poor, cheap toilet paper, no Dyson hair dryer and our Shampoo dispenser was broken (in fairness the dispenser was fixed in less than 5 minutes when we brought this up). Chipped and worn-out paint around the bed frame, the lack of a dedicated power outlet on one side of the bed and the absence of true blackout curtains were all misses. We also found it strange that the Faena did not have a pool bag in the unit. This was not a unit worthy of the price we paid.
Once we were settled in the room, we made our way to the Faena pool. In the courtyard there is a 10,000-year-old woolly mammoth that is covered in 24-karat gold. Delightfully over the top and so very Miami Beach, the iconic gilded fossil reportedly was once purchased for around $15 million. Since our last visit, landscaping has matured, and this has created a better aesthetic and ambiance. We are always surprised that a hotel with 179 rooms can function with only one pool and limited sunbeds. Somehow, they make it work. The rows of red and white umbrellas surrounded by lush landscaping create a great atmosphere for relaxing and people watching. The pool itself is neither special nor disappointing. Good temperature. There are several pools we prefer in Miami Beach.
We experienced fantastic service at the pool. The pool attendant Ignacio set us up with the best seats in the house, and Matthew was an engaging server who took good care of us. While we received good service, the bar and kitchen were very slow and the quality of food and drinks were bad. We did not care for the Faena Spritz or the Frozen Espresso Martini. At nearly $30 a drink and arriving in small cheap plastic cups, I would recommend you order a bottle of champagne or rosé. The food wasn’t much better. The truffle sliders were barely edible, and the truffle fries were lackluster (no shaved truffles?). It should also be mentioned that you pay careful attention to the bill. Rather than closing out with a physical bill, the server shows you the tab on a device where you may miss that 20% tip is already included. We also took advantage of Faena’s beach club. Again, the service was great, but there are better locations on the beach.
Let’s talk about breakfast because it’s a microcosm of our issue with the Faena and its standing as a luxury hotel. When a guest is paying for luxury, the hotel has an obligation to deliver it. The guest should never feel that the experience is transactional. Doing so takes the guest out of the experience and makes them feel unwelcome. Our booking came with a “complimentary breakfast”. Complimentary breakfast is actually a $100 breakfast credit. Seems reasonable enough. However, when two orders of scrambled eggs and bacon, two orange juices and two coffees cost nearly $140, we felt nickel and dimed. A luxury hotel should make the guest feel special, not taken advantage of.
As we mentioned before, we were in town at the Faena for the Alinea residency. While we didn’t dine at the Faena’s restaurants on this trip, I can say that we have had good meals at both Pao and Los Fuegos. The Unicorn Uni dish at Pao is a must if you eat there. After Alinea, we went to the Faena Theater to see a burlesque version of Carmen. This was our second time at the Faena Theater, and it is a place we intend to go back to in the future. Should it cost more than a Cirque show? No. But this is Miami, and the performers were amazing. We should also mention that we did not take advantage of the Faena’s fantastic Spa on this trip. They have a top tier complimentary hydrotherapy area that includes Hammam, Sauna, Ice Chamber and more.
After we left the Faena and discussed our experience on the train ride back home, we couldn’t help but feel disappointed. We have fond memories of the Faena, but this experience fell short. Would we come again? Yes. Despite this experience we know the Faena can do better. Our prior stay remains our favorite hotel experience in Miami. That said, at a similar price point and for a more luxurious experience you should consider the Four Seasons Surf Club. Alternatively, the 1 Hotel usually provides better value and an amazing adult’s only rooftop pool.
